It Was Worth the Wait: Marriage and Cohabitation
Today I want to share with you a personal story about how waiting to move in with my husband has paid off. I should start by saying for me moving in with my husband before marriage was never a discussion for us, because we both had personal convictions about living together before marriage. Waiting til marriage to live together has produced so many blessings for us.
I dated my husband for 3 years before we tied the knot. Three long years of dating created late night driving especially during the work week. As you can imagine, it wore on us. I can completely understand why it is simply more convenient to live with your partner. Marriage has been wonderful and having my best friend always there really is a ton of fun. And although my favorite things about marriage can be accomplished by cohabitation, I believe there is a stronger appreciation of them in marriage.
The honeymoon phase lasts longer.
I have heard numerous times from couples that were living together before their wedding respond to the question of, “How’s married life?” Answer, “It’s exactly the same.”
How sad is that? There has been no change in your life besides throwing a big party? I can only share my experience on this topic, but EVERYTHING changed for me. It was so great to come home to my spouse who cared about my day. I also love going out together whether with friends or with each other, but the best part is that we get to go home together. Living with my husband also had new challenges. I had to learn to share a bed. There was more housework. I had to learn how to study and get things done in a new environment with someone else around. This was a time of adjustment for me. These big changes were exciting changes, and it has given us the opportunity to know each other on a new level that I believe you can only truly know if you live together. I wouldn’t take any of that back. Now 4 months after our wedding, marriage is still easy, and I truly would say I am still honeymooning with my best friend.
I conveniently like my husband more now.
As I mentioned above, I dated my husband for three years before we married. The last year, we were a 45-minute drive away from each other. We had full time jobs, and I started taking night courses. Life was busy, and seeing each other, at times, was last on our list. Sometimes I would be so wrapped up in my own world, he would be the last thing I thought about. This probably was because I wasn’t worried about our relationship, but not seeing him and being busy made it easy to forget how much fun we actually had with each other. I am not saying this is the mark of a healthy relationship. I am just saying that getting married let me like him more without the stress of life. It let me spend more time with him in a way where we were not always in a rush to get to the next thing.
cheezy snapchat picture :)
We are building a permanent home together.
My FAVORITE part of living with my husband is that we make choices together for our life. We made our vows to each other and now every part of life is our life. Even now when we make decisions, it is together. What’s cool about moving into our little apartment is that when we want to buy furniture we talk about if it’s a long-term or short-term purchase. There is no sense of fear or watching our backs, like that’s my stuff versus his stuff (which I would assume is how one would be in a dating relationship unless they trick themselves otherwise). I tend to think that this is where cohabiting versus marriage really makes a difference. Cohabitation is not a binding relationship. I feel most people keep an eye out for themselves in these relationships because, without commitment, you really don’t know if the other person will just get up and leave. This leaves partners that cannot fully commit to any part of their lives, and sadly, they end up leaving their options open. When we build our home, it’s together. There is a sense of comfort that we are in this for the long haul. We don’t take time to doubt that.
Some more "Building" our lives together snapchat pictures!
The bond of marriage made my first cohabitation experience with the opposite sex the best experience yet.
Living Happily Ever After,