29 Crazy Facts About Me at 29

Have I mentioned this was my last birthday? I will continue to be 29 until I die. A little dramatic? No, it's VERY dramatic!

I'm glad you're here to read my rant about being 29. This list will give you more insight into my life. Hope this list brings a smile to your face because life isn't enjoyable unless we can laugh through it!

1. I look in the mirror without makeup and am confused at what happened. Ugh, I think my mom was right about sunscreen…hence, the under eye wrinkle cream used daily at 29.

2. At a department store last month, a worker stopped me and said “You are so pretty.” I cried on the way home--it was the highlight of my year.

3. I thought I would be more financially stable at this point in my life. We are moving in with my parents soon so here’s to hoping!

4. A romantic night for me and my hubs is falling asleep before 9 pm. If we fall asleep cuddling, it was an epic night!

5. Most used phrases at 29--“Go poop on the potty,” and I don’t see an end in sight.

6. Second most used phrase--“You’re unbelievable,” and now my husband actually thinks he is “unbelievable”…it back fired.

7. I’m so tired that I don’t even remember not being tired…Did I actually sleep in till 1 pm as a teenager, how did I do that?!

8. I thought I was going to write a romantic novel going up, and now I just want to write a self-help book about cleaning.

9. If society would let me, I would dress like those teens that wear hoodies, leggings, and slippers everywhere.

10. 50% of the food I eat is half-eaten, not because we are poor, but because my kids won’t eat. I love being the family garbage can.

11. Since having boys, my wardrobe has become more pink and less blue. I’m resisting the dark side.

12. I’m a modern day Cinderella. I wear the same ragged clothes all day and constantly deal with 2 little monsters.

13. I will cry during a commercial if it has anything to do with kids. Please don’t judge me on the point above...I love my monsters!

14. My kindred spirits are old ladies. My dignity was lost from childbirth to tantrums in public, so now I feel like I can speak my mind and not care. Dignity's gone, but speaking my mind comes freely at 29.

15. I sew, blog, read, and take long walks for fun. No, that was not an ad for a middle-aged woman on a dating sight, I’m only 29!

16. I have no gray hair, but the amount of hair I had 5 years ago was significantly more than I have now.

17. I still can't cook. I think it’s something to do with following directions, but I didn’t finish reading the post about being a good cook.

18. I bought powdered probiotics, Activia, magnesium power, and Miralax just this last week. Poop rules my life, and apparently my wallet.

19. My celebrity crush is still Zac Efron. He is starting to look older, right?

20. My husband is in medical school (will have an M.D. next year), and I still give my kids inorganic fruit and veggies, sometimes unwashed. Steamables count for the same amount of nutrition as fresh veggies, right?

21. I've gone to the movies alone more than once...I’ll admit it.

22. I’m currently reading 3 books and watching 2 TV series. Obviously at 29, I am still indecisive about life decisions.

23. I learned my lesson about ordering food. I no longer say “I don’t care, whatever you want.” I am specific with my orders, “No pizza! But you can get whatever you want. NO PIZZA!”

24. I own more Spanx than I would like to say at at 29.

25. My dream vacation is being home alone and cleaning it--sick I know.

26. I’m preparing for my 6th move in 7 years… some may say that's exciting! I say it makes me a professional packer and U-Haul should have a rewards program.

27. You couldn't pay me enough to watch a scary movie because I’m still afraid of my closet if it's cracked open.

28. I have not mastered the word “No” yet, but this year I plan too. Ugh, “I’m an adult. I’m an adult. I’m an adult!”

29. I'm no longer ask for permission to leave the house. If my husband comes home early, sometimes I just walk out the door. Yay, I know, like an adult! It’s pretty amazing.

Goodbye from this super awesome 29 year old,

Middle Sister

#hilariousmommyrant #birthdayrant #pooprant #mommyrant #29lastbirthday #funnyymemes #funnymommemes #funnymemesadulting #adulting


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