If there is one thing to know about me, it’s that I move quite often. But I have recently been in the age group where my son is finally going to school. And to be honest, making mom friends can be just as intimidating as my son’s first day at school.
How do the other mom’s dress? How early is too early for drop off? What’s in style for kid’s hair?
Ugh, the list can go on and on. But let’s get real, cliques don’t end in grade school. So how in the world are you going to make a good, long lasting friend that’s also good friends with your child. You know, the one you’re envisioning going on vacations with and middle-of-the-week breakfasts after drop off…OK, now I’m dreaming…
But here are 7 tips to help you get out there, looking good, and finding those lifelong friends (or maybe a few!)
1. Show up a little early for drop off and pick up
Not only are you going to get caught up on upcoming events – but it’s also a great time to create small talk with other moms. I got to know someone from small chit-chat before pick up and then we saw each other at a birthday party in the fall and instantly became good friend. And who knows, maybe someone will invite you to breakfast!
2. Don’t look like a hot mess
Shower, put on clean clothes, comb your hair, and brush your teeth. I understand there is going to be days where you are bumming it…but try to do drop off late then. No one wants to be friends with someone who has bad breath or BO. I like to drop my kid off late when I’m a mess so only the teacher sees me. Ok, but for real, you’re a mom now. Getting up early is a thing. Just do it and get yourself ready first.
3. Introduce yourself
Yes, there are a select few who will introduce themselves first, but not likely. Remember, I said cliques don’t end in grade school. And those cliques like to chit-chat. For months I remember standing outside several minutes before pick up, and all the moms were talking in their groups. I would wait for a break in silence and say something sweet about their baby or an upcoming event…hello, hi, I’m here too! Plan ahead on small things to come up with if you are shy. Great way to start is something you know you have in common, school and your kids. Easy peasy, don’t over think it. So introduce yourself, or you might be missed.
4. If you are invited to a play date, GO
One, play dates are great to see who your kids are connecting with. But also, you might find a new mom friend you can connect with! I have been invited to play dates by someone and meet another mom who I immediately connect with. If I hadn’t gone, then it could have been months before I am able to kindle a friendship.
5. Don’t listen to gossip
Ignore it, don’t ask for more details, walk away. I learned this the hard way. People do crazy things. Admit it, you have done things you regret. People makes mistakes and learn. Walk away and get to know people without any impression first. I think we all would love to be the first one to give yourself an impression, but sometimes this isn’t the case.
6. Don’t sweat it
I’ve tripped, yelled at my child, looked foolish in conversation, but guess what? I’m the only one who thought about it at night. Let it go. If they don’t like the real you then why would you want their friendship? My great friend, who now lives in Washington State (insert tears), is kind of a crunchy mom, and I definitely have put my foot in my mouth around her at the beginning. Later I would apologize and she would say she didn’t even remember, so let it go. You are going to mess up and that’s life. Let people love the real you. If not, then find some new mom friends.
7. Be a good friend
It’s sad this has to be a point, but be a GOOD friend. Think back to when you were taken advantage of, rumors were spread about you or your child, not fun. “Do to others as you would have them do to you.” I can give numerous examples on this point. But Sister #1 is going to write (I’m sure) a very detailed post about this. So come back and see what we think a good friend is.
So get the bags packed and alarms set – Let’s make friends this year!